Anna couldn’t stop crying during the first period math class. It was a slow, steady cry, suprisingly not too emotional. At least that’s what my 17 year old self remembers. The teacher asked if she wanted to take some time outside. When Anna shook her head no, the teacher tried to continue, but the crying didn’t stop. When finally the lesson seemed like an exercise in futility, the teacher asked Anna to tell her what was wrong. “I swallowed a bottle of pills,” she replied.
I remember everyone being shocked, the emergency crew that came in, the vice principal coming in as a presence of calm to take over the class. And Anna, even as they wheeled her out, her cries increasingly frantic.
We knew Anna as the funny, smart, incredibly creative girl, who everyone wanted to be friends with. What had gone so terribly wrong? I am not a doctor, and I wasn’t one then either, but this past year, I’ve learned about an illness that I never even knew existed.
Bipolar disorder, once known as manic depression, affects 2.3 million Americans. Those who sufferer from it go through cycles of devastating lows and euphoric, compulsive highs.
It usually begins in late adolescence, often appearing as depression during teen years, although it can start in early childhood or later in life. An equal number of men and women develop this illness. Men tend to begin with a manic episode, women with a depressive episode. Bipolar disorder is found among all ages, races, ethnic groups, and social classes.
And there are Muslims with Bipolar as well. In this month’s video project, Sr. Saba, aka, Morningwind, makes the process of mastering Bipolar, a spirtual one. And she wants to help others do the same.
People with bipolar disorder have three times the alcohol and drug abuse rate as the rest of the population. The mania, or the highs, can lead to destructive, extreme and reckless behavior including violence, aggression, compulsive shopping and/or sexual promiscuity. The irrational highs are followed by periods of deep, paralyzing depression. Many bipolar people commit suicide—20 percent end up dying by their own hands.
Saba says that Muslims, with a pre-installed belief system, have the ability to conquer Bipolar without falling prey to all the harmful repercussions that others without Islam deal with.
Sometimes, though, coping with the taboo in their communities can take it’s toll, and Bipolar Muslims often feel isolated, and unable to reconcile the need for diagnosis and medication with the cultural and religious norms of their upbringing.
That’s where Morningwind comes in. Invisible as the wind upon your cheek, but every bit as real, the cool morning breeze is a chance for renewal, light after the dark of night, and hope after despair.
“Is not the Morning near?” (Quran 11: 81)
This is Saba’s project. May Allah bless her work and allow her to use her experience to help others. Check out the video below, and visit her blog at: www.morningwind.wordpress.com.
I don’t where Anna is now (she did survive that episode), but I can’t help thinking that she might have benefited from Saba’s mission. And I’m certainly grateful to Allah SWT that other Muslims suffering in silence will.
*** Wanna tell me about your ‘I am Sheba’ project? I’m all ears: heba@iamsheba.com
